Crow Joke #999
This morning as I was getting ready to go to work there was an early morning thunderstorm, and the rain was coming down in buckets. Normally, after feeding the dogs, I grab a handful of grapes and baby carrots and come up from the kitchen. Crow and Hudson go out for one more "just in case" potty trip while I go up the winder staircase to feed the birds. When I opened the door for them today, they looked at the downpour, and for an instant Hudson leaned out and looked up at the sky. Then they both moved back and told me quite clearly it was a "no go." That was ok. They'd already been out earlier, and I didn't much feel like drying them off a second time.
So, Crow got to do one of her very favorite things with me - feed the parrots. All I have to do is say "let's do the birds," and she runs right to the staircase door. Somehow she knew what was next on the agenda, and she led me to the stairway and waited for me to open the door. Safety necessitates that she preceed me up or down the narrow stairs, so up she went as I reached for the light switch.
As soon as I flipped the switch, a lightbulb burned out, so when I got upstairs, my attention was immediately consumed by changing the lightbulb. Perhaps I missed something; or maybe not.
I fed the two Amazons and crossed the room to feed Dover, my cockatiel. As I was fumbling with the catch on his door, Crow came over and nudged my hand. Without thinking, I responded by turning my hand, cupped and palm up, to scratch her chin.
That's when she hit me with it- Crow Joke #999. As soon as my hand was turned over, Crow delivered the punch line, dropping a dead mouse (this was a Rodent of Impressive Size, with beautiful copper colored pelt, and it was very, very dead) into my palm.
All these years of playing at dog training paid off, as I held my new prize, thanked her profusely for her generosity, all the while ignoring the voice screaming in my brain that shrieked "drop it!!! drop it!!!," and looked desperately around the room for a plastic bag. Fortunately, I'd just brought new seed yesterday afternoon, and the bag was still there.
I have no idea if the mouse was just lying there dead when we went up or if Crow killed it. She snuffles around in corners, vacuuming up seed and other parrot rejects that the birds have thrown out of the cages anyway, so I might not have noticed if she was after a mouse instead of seeds. I was distracted when I first went up because I had to change that lightbulb. And quite frankly, if you were to ask me if it were still warm enough to have been recently killed, I was so shocked that part didn't register on my brain.
Crow was quite pleased with herself. It was a pretty good dog joke, and she was really quite satisfied with having executed the perfect delivery.
So, Crow got to do one of her very favorite things with me - feed the parrots. All I have to do is say "let's do the birds," and she runs right to the staircase door. Somehow she knew what was next on the agenda, and she led me to the stairway and waited for me to open the door. Safety necessitates that she preceed me up or down the narrow stairs, so up she went as I reached for the light switch.
As soon as I flipped the switch, a lightbulb burned out, so when I got upstairs, my attention was immediately consumed by changing the lightbulb. Perhaps I missed something; or maybe not.
I fed the two Amazons and crossed the room to feed Dover, my cockatiel. As I was fumbling with the catch on his door, Crow came over and nudged my hand. Without thinking, I responded by turning my hand, cupped and palm up, to scratch her chin.
That's when she hit me with it- Crow Joke #999. As soon as my hand was turned over, Crow delivered the punch line, dropping a dead mouse (this was a Rodent of Impressive Size, with beautiful copper colored pelt, and it was very, very dead) into my palm.
All these years of playing at dog training paid off, as I held my new prize, thanked her profusely for her generosity, all the while ignoring the voice screaming in my brain that shrieked "drop it!!! drop it!!!," and looked desperately around the room for a plastic bag. Fortunately, I'd just brought new seed yesterday afternoon, and the bag was still there.
I have no idea if the mouse was just lying there dead when we went up or if Crow killed it. She snuffles around in corners, vacuuming up seed and other parrot rejects that the birds have thrown out of the cages anyway, so I might not have noticed if she was after a mouse instead of seeds. I was distracted when I first went up because I had to change that lightbulb. And quite frankly, if you were to ask me if it were still warm enough to have been recently killed, I was so shocked that part didn't register on my brain.
Crow was quite pleased with herself. It was a pretty good dog joke, and she was really quite satisfied with having executed the perfect delivery.
5 Comments:
Sometimes, no often times, my dear sister, I am quite pleased that you are you and I am I and you have your life and I have mine... quite different in our tastes and tolerances and things that we consider "jokes", whether it be a Crow Joke, a Mommy joke, or a man joke... This, my dear sister, is one of those times... one that I would write about the "Nightmare on Cherry Street" rather than "Crow Joke #999"... so glad for Crow's sake, that she lives with you rather than me...
Wha'? You wouldn't have held on to the dead rodent just to make your dog feel validated? Didn't I bring you up better than that?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Crow loves you, she really loves you!!!
Julius brought me a dead vole once. Dropped it on the kitchen floor. I went to get a bag for it, and while I was gone, he ate it. No doubt he was insulted that I didn't appreciate his precious gift.
Truman brough me a partially dessicated deer head the other day...and Archie, not to be outdone, added his contribution of one of the legs. They both also found it prudent (and quite fashionable) to roll in the carcass and get covered in mud and...well, something icky.
Levi was by my side polishing his halo and looking virtuous. (had nothing to do with the fact that he was the only one leashed...)
Crow is such a wonderful pup! And what a good dogmom for not rejecting her gift. :) You just have to love the dogs with a sense of humor. :)
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