Crowz Nest

Because it's time... as it was once before.

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Location: Port Murray, NJ

I'm a bit old to be starting out in life again, but that's where I am. Sadly. Or gladly. It's where I am. Come along. Watch the fun. Inch by inch, row by row, gonna make this garden grow.

Friday, March 30, 2007


Flag is gone. Earlier this week, I got e-mail from my friend, Suzanne, that Flag, a Jersey/Holstein steer who came to her farm during the summer of 1997 as a baby, was found dead in the field that evening.

Flag was a very special soul. One could lean on Flag's side and feel instantly connected to the earth.

There was a peace and a stillness in Flag that he generously shared with anyone who made themselves open to it.

In return for peace given, Flag was open to scratches received. There are spots on a steer that a steer cannot easily reach to scratch. Heaven was not far away for either of us in this give and take.

I used to spend a lot of time on the farm, visiting John and Suzanne and all of the animals about once a month. The events in my own life over the past few years, and the shifts in Suzanne's schedule have meant that I haven't been to the farm in a very long time. I always know I can go there, and will be welcome there, and in carrying that within, I have always assumed that Flag would be there.

I will have to accept Flag's presence in a different way. Flag will always be a part of the farm for me. But now, I will have to be open to his spirit, which has joined Jeremy's, and Ming's, Charlotte's, Carson and Vali's, and a host of others. All of them have always been there for me, and I know Flag will be, too. But I will miss leaning into the solidness of Flag's strong, gentle body, and will have to settle instead for the largeness of his heart which is forever a part of the heart of the place.
Peace, Flag. Peace and sweet grasses, sunshine and love, wherever you are. Thank you for being a part of my life. Your presence was huge; your absence just as large. Your spirit brings life to both.